This is too far

I know that my son is becoming over weight.  And last night I was talking to my husband about seeing if we can get him to join the gym but they don't want under age of 15 at the gym.  So I want to ask if he can come because he'd be there with us.  I don't think small gyms should put an age limit on these things because some kids need the exercise.  My son isn't into sports so he doesn't get the excercise that some get. 

But when I read that some schools want to weigh our kids to help with obesity that is just crazy.  The school should only be able to provide a healthy meal.  The school that my son goes to had to make cut backs and gym class is no longer in the program.  Now the teachers job is to have them do jumping jacks, etc for 10 minutes a day.  That is not a teachers job.  That is for gym class. 

http://apps.facebook.com/petitions/2/stop-state-senators-from-weighing-our-kids-in-school/

Pretty Please

I took this picture just for fun. 

Home

I was talking to my son this morning before school and he asked me what was the name of the school I went to as a child.  When I answered him he said, "You only went to one school?"  I told him that I went to 3 different high schools but I was raised in one place my entire life. 

It was at that moment I could see in his face that he thought that would be the neatest thing.  To grow up in one place, one house your whole life.  It just amazed him that I only went to one school. 

I want that so much.  To be able to stay in one place and to be able to have the kids know one place as home.  It just seems that today people are always moving and transfering jobs or losing their homes that they don't have a place to leave home when they go off to college and know they get to come HOME to the house they were raised in. 

I just don't want my childrens memories of home to be all over the place. 

A pic my son took

The inside of the M&M bag.  I think it looks really neat the way it turned out.  He is going nuts with his new camera he got for Christmas.  I love watching my kids take pictures.  I feel like I am looking at myself but in a much younger version. 

Winter Blues

I am ready for winter to be done and over with.  I have the winter time blues.  I miss having energy.  I miss feeling the sun on my face. 

Things should be so positive for me.  I have my family back and living under one roof.  But things just aren't right.  We had so many positives several years ago.  We owned our own home, we lived near great friends, and we each had our own motorcycle.  But now things are different.  We live in a great home but it isn't ours, we all live under the same roof but it just doesn't feel like home.  I miss the feeling of family and everyone getting along and everyone being happy. 

My husband makes more money today then he ever has and yet we still can't buy a house.   I feel like we are struggling even more now then we ever have.

I just want us to own our own home and have the feeling of this is where we belong.  But the way it feels is I am waiting to pack up and move again because I don't have a sense of belonging.

I am tired of stressing and tired of worrying.  I want things to go back to normal.  I want things to go back to the way they used to be.

The World of Camo: Dinner

The World of Camo: Dinner

Have I already lost it?

I'm tired. I'm tired of my life. I love staying home but right now I have to ask myself if it is worth it. I'm tired of getting three kids ready in the morning and then they still forget to take things to school. Fighting with them about what they are going to wear. I'm tired of asking them to pick things up and days go by and they don't do it. I'm tired of cleaning the same things over and over again every day. However, I know if I got a job I have to pay for after school care and possibly before school care because I dont trust the kids to walk to school and get there on time. But then I have to get three kids ready and myself and get them to where they need to go and still deal with everything in the house. I almost think that would stress me out more. But at the same time being away from it all and not dealing with it sounds nice too.

Maybe it's cuz I'm not feeling well and looking at my house as nasty as it is, is making me frustrated. But I don't have the energy to get things done. I feel like I get no appreciation for anything at all. I feel like I am a robot doing what everyone else needs for me to do. Why can't I find myself and get out of this hole? I'm drowning here.

At times it feels like nothing at all is going the way I plan. Is it that I am just that miserable here that I don't even want to try? I want to know what it is that I am doing wrong. I have to take care of so many people that it is hard to remember to take care of me. But then when I do I feel selfish for doing so. Everyone needs a piece of me. And I am running out of pieces.

Love it

I feel it describes me somehow.

Questions ????

What is my purpose in life? Heck, at times I can't even figure out what is going to be for dinner. How am I supposed to figure out which direction I am supposed to take? Which part of the house do I clean first? What should my status say on Facebook? What time is it so I know when to pick up the kids? Do I get a job to help out with the bills? Do I go back to school and yet create another bill?

I know I need to organize but quite frankly I wouldn't know where to begin. I know everything that needs to be done it is just getting it all done. And then when things aren't done I start to lose my mind.

Being a stay at home mom isn't always easy. Part of me wishes I had a job so I didn't have to look at the mess in the house all day to get me upset that I am the one who has to clean it all up. But, at the same time if I worked then I'd have to come home to the mess. And I'm not sure which is worse.