Tuesday, January 2, 2007
I grew up in what they call the city with money. So everyone was getting their nails done and buying name brand clothes. However, I was the girl that went to Target and bought ten outfits for the same price as my sister bought her two outfits with the money our mom gave us to buy back to school clothes. I never really ever felt like I fit it. I just wanted to be me. I didn't want to be somebody that I wasn't just to fit in.
Immediately after school I moved out of my parents home and lived on my own. I'm not saying that I haven't moved back home a couple of times to get back on my feet but I couldn't wait to live on my own. I got engaged and thought I was set but I just knew that I wasn't really ready to settle down so after a few years I moved on. I got engaged again and thought that he was the one and was ready to spend my life with this guy but I guess he wasn't ready and he moved on. So then a few years later I met someone else and he stuck around. I thought I was ready to get married since I was in my mid 20's and thought that this is what I was supposed to do. Deep down I guess I knew that he wasn't the one but I thought I could change him. I got pregnant on our honeymoon and had the most beautiful baby boy. A year later the marriage seemed to get rocky and I thought by having another baby it would help our marriage so we tried for baby number two! Two months later I was pregnant and then had another beautiful baby boy. But I knew it wasn't going to work so shortly after I gave birth we seperated and then got divorced.
I was told not to date anyone for at least six months so I could learn to live life on my own. Which I did! I did it with two little boys who kept me busy enough I didn't need to go out on dates. A year later I figured it was time. I asked my next door neighbor to set me up on a date with someone. And she set me up with her ex boyfriend of all people. But I have to thank her for that. We went out on a few dates and I told my mom that I just knew that he was the one. I had no doubts at all. Apparently he didn't either because after about two weeks I told him that I was going to marry him one day and he didn't go running! lol! A month later we were engaged. He was told by his doctor that it would be difficult for him to have a baby and so knowing that he really wanted one of his own we started trying before we got married. However, it only took one try! lol! I guess it was meant to be. We then got married and had our beautiful baby girl!
Life was great and my husband was raising my two boys as well as our daughter and we lived in a home that I thought was out in the middle of no where. I ended up meeting my best friend two doors down! My husband got a job offer to another state and we turned it down because we couldn't sell our house. Several months later they called back and asked him to reconsider and he decided to take the job. I wanted to do what God wanted for all of us and that was to follow my husband and his career. Well, my ex husband didn't like this too much and fought for custody of our two boys.
After moving away and living our life as a family it was torn apart when the judge made the decision that the boys should live with my ex husband because I moved out of state and took them away from their father. The sad thing was that he was never around and wasn't even raising them. So I had to say good bye to them. We immediately moved back so I could be near the boys. I then prepared for going back to court to get my boys back. We made LOTS of sacrifices with our lives and our marriage. We were always in a "financial" situation. But after a very looooonngg fight to get my boys back God answered our prayers and my ex decided to give the boys up for adoption.
So now we are a complete family again. Figuring out life as we go along and leaving all of our decision making in God's hands. God has watched over us and has taught us a few lessons in life but he has always lead us down the right path.
I am always a mom and I know that I was always meant to be one. It is something I am good at. I also love to take pictures. I have been around cameras for a long time. I enjoy making memories with my photos. I also love motorcycles. It is my dream to drag race at least one time. Of course, with a dream like that you might only get one shot since it is so dangerous. But it too is also something that I am good at. My bike and I were featured in a magazine a few years ago. I am a great friend to few. I very much enjoy helping others. I have a unique personality which makes me one of a kind. That is just the way that I like it.
I am who I am. I will never claim to be something that I am not. I am Joy.